May 27, 2010
(last updated May 16, 2014) 
Happy almost Friday! I knew you’d get a kick out of the kale chips; I just so happen to have munched on some with my lunch.
About a month ago, my client and fellow blogger Sarah posed a particularly insightful question to me, which I wanted to share with the rest of you. She wrote,
My next question is about cognitive dissonance. Since reading Intuitive Eating, I have thought a lot about this idea that food is neither good nor bad (i.e. Make peace with food: food is not the enemy, and there is no “bad” food). I agree, but I struggle with this concept as a vegan. My reasons for being vegan range from the environment to animal rights to health, and to me…it is impossible to remove the label of “good” and “bad” entirely from foods when my food choices are related my ethics. Just to be clear, on a conscious level I don’t feel that I am denying myself pleasure by eating a vegan diet.
However, food has a ton of meaning as a vegan. Just as someone could say to someone who is overly concerned with fashion that “clothes are just clothes,” I would say that clothes are so much more – they represent class, wealth or poverty, oppression of others (in sweat shops), etc. Maybe that makes me a bit of a drag, but I think that I am having a hard time letting go of the meaning – and, consequently, the obsession – of food, when it is so intertwined with my ethics…Do you have any advice on this (i.e. how I can remove value judgments from food whilst still being true to my ethics by being a vegan)?
I thought that this was a brilliant question. It was also a hard question, and I spent a few days mulling over my answer. Before I share it with you, I should note that while there are many things about Intuitive Eating that I like, I don’t agree with it in its entirety. I take some lessons from it, and leave others behind. Like any approach, it can be taken to an extreme, and can breed its own pressures toward orthodoxy.
Here’s what I responded to Sarah, along with some subsequent thoughts:
To me (and I think to the authors of Intuitive Eating), the meaning of “bad” with regard to food is not so much environmental or health-related, but way of describing of that food’s psychological impact. So, once upon a time, “bad” foods were foods that made me feel bad. They were foods that made me feel guilty and self-loathing; most of all, they were foods that made me feel dirty. (To this day, I have trouble using the expression “clean” with regard to eating or food, simply because the converse is “dirty,” and I never like to think of food that way.)
Getting beyond this way of thinking took time. In essence, I had to come to terms with the fact that there is simply no food that I can or will eat that will make me a bad person. I mean this sincerely: even if I were to walk to McDonald’s right now and eat a big Mac, I don’t think I’d suddenly be a bad human being—a gluttonous or dirty or uncontrollable one. It would be unlike me, given my preferences and ways of thinking, and if I were to do it again, and again, and again, it would be a “bad” habit in the sense that I would be perpetuating a contradiction between the way I behave and the way I think and feel. I don’t like hypocrisy, and I don’t court it. But a single meal, a single moment? It wouldn’t make me question my own value. I would regret it and not repeat it, but it would not make me turn on myself.
No single meal will lessen my perception of my self worth. Two weeks ago, I was at a very important work dinner, and there were no vegan options. So when I asked, the waiter brought me a vegetable terrine that was supposed to be vegan. After a few hungry bites, I realized it had butter in it. So what did I do? I ate the other things on my plate, and told the waiter politely that I was fairly sure that butter had been in the dish, and that he should never let the kitchen serve it as a vegan option. He said he wouldn’t.
Was I a “bad” person for digging in before I realized? Should I have thrown it up, or obsessed over it? Some vegans might have, but I didn’t. It was a few bites of buttery vegetables — butter that I didn’t intend to eat, and which I didn’t purchase with my own money. I did the responsible thing in telling the wait staff not to serve it to other vegans, and I moved on. I wish the dish had been vegan, because I would have enjoyed it in its entirety! But the food wasn’t “bad” in the sense that it could single-handedly make me feel bad about myself. It simply wasn’t what I wanted, or would choose.
I think it can be helpful to draw a distinction between choice and obligation. I titled my blog, in part, to suggest this: I find that eating raw foods (whether habitually, or once in a while), vegan foods, organic foods, and local foods are all exercises of free will and choice. If we are lucky, we have options of things to eat, and the power to make an impact with our spending as consumer. We get to consider what makes our bodies feel good, and we get to choose which foods we believe are worthy of fiscal support. I don’t purchase meat for a confluence of reasons: I don’t like it, I don’t think it’s environmentally friendly, I don’t think it’s compassionate, and I don’t think it’s good for my health. I choose not to eat it because I don’t need or want to, and because I believe my money as a consumer is better spent on other things.
This is a choice I make, not because I think that meat (or other animal products) could single-handedly make “bad,” but because I have the option of living without it, and that option feels superior to me than living with it. The avoidance isn’t to stave off guilt or self-hatred, nor is it a superstitious, quasi-religious fear of “dirty” food. It’s a choice, born of being informed, empowered, and lucky enough to have dining options I prefer.
In the end, I think my main point is this: saying that you will categorically avoid a certain food can in some ways mimic the self-limitation and restriction and good/bad thinking of disordered eating. But it is not necessarily the same. Whether or not it is the same depends entirely on one’s mentality, and not on the avoidance itself. What’s ultimately important is whether or not you are making a choice that is wholehearted and based upon deep personal conviction (and pleasure, too). If you’re avoiding a food or groups of foods because of paranoia, self-loathing, or fear of guilt, then perhaps you should reevaluate the avoidance. But if you’re doing it because it feels right to you – both in terms of health and in terms of ethics – then I’d say you ought to applaud yourself for being proactive and conscious, rather than worry that you’re being un-intuitive.
Human beings are instinctual creatures, which is why the idea of eating intuitively is so appealing. But we are also thinking creatures, and we have the power to make distinctions between things we do and don’t want based on our beliefs. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing – it’s an exertion of our own capacity for rational thinking and measured decision making.
After I wrote this, it occurred to me that this reasoning can definitely be applied to ethical positions that aren’t vegan. For example, I have friends who are omnivores, but who take a tough stance about eating local and organic, which means that they’re frequently excluding certain foods from their diets at certain times of the year. Would they be “bad” people for occasionally eating conventional produce, or GMO crops, or for eating out of season? No—they’d only be eating in a way that’s out of harmony with their ideals. And they’d probably choose differently at the next meal.
I’d love to hear your feedback on this. How do you settle the “cognitive dissonance” between avoiding moral terminology when it comes to food, and making food choices that are sometimes specialized or exclusive?
With that “food for thought” (he he), I wish you all a great afternoon!
xo
(Top image (c) selfmadescholar.com)
This post may contain affiliate links. If you use these links to buy something I may earn a commission. Visit my privacy policy to learn more.
Categories: Uncategorized
Leave a Comment
Oh my god… I almost cried reading this. I am a person who always ate intuitively after my attempts to heal from food trauma and disorder, but I leaned toward veganism / plant-based eating because of the animals. It’s only been a couple of months after my fifth attempt of veganism but those cravings are coming back to me to the point that I think very poorly and badly of myself when I think about eating a pastry or a non vegan item. I feel guilty but not ” bad ” when I eat something non-vegan and I’m afraid of the judgment of others more radical vegans, the reason why my family is aware of animal cruelty but choose to eat seafood and eggs is because of those ” few bad vegans ” and also ” free will. ” they can eat what they want I can’t restrict them. I feel guilty for wanting people to go vegan but am Myself giving in to those cravings. I will never deliberately eat steak or drink a big glass of milk, but I may eat ranch dressing, a pastry or a cake that’s not vegan and that’s okay … I need to remind myself that I am human and I have free will.
This post is quite thought provoking, and the discussion, just as much so. With so many factors at play with regard to our food choices (including habits), such as health (or the perception thereof), emotional rewards, moral/ethical considerations, societal influence, convenience, price, etc.., the term ‘intuition’ is being put to the test.
I’ve started Intuitive Eating… I’m a lifelong vegetarian (i.e., I don’t see meat/seafood as “food,” so restricting them’s a non-issue) and an on-again/off-again vegan, for 100% animal reasons. I’ve noticed (many times, but Hey, never been a fast-learner when it comes to feeding myself) that with every vegan attempt I feel like $hit, obsess about food, and gain weight; my first round of veganism, in fact, corresponded with full-blown bulimia, as I’d restrict all week and splurge every Friday at one of Manhattan’s first “fake meat” restaurants in the 90s – first time I made myself puke was in that bathroom, in fact.
I do think things are inherently good/bad, moral/immoral… Not because of grams of carbs, of course, but how they affect the non-human (and human) creatures we coexist with. Sadly I’ve had to completely abandon any and all attempts at veganism in pursuit of not being driven insane by disordered eating. Textured soy proteins and the various, highly-processed stuff that goes into meat substitutes don’t sit well in my tummy, whereas dairy truly does (and I think might have an enzyme my system’s lacking, since nothing settles my tummy like a glass of milk or cube of cheese… Weird?). So for now I’ve completely given it up, which makes me sad, but will hopefully make me sane. Maybe, like Portia de Rossi, I’ll try the vegan thing again once I’m healed.
Dunno what the point of this rambling post was… I think it was to say that if, like me, you find your ethics to be a barrier to intuitive eating, you’re not alone, and it sucks.
I very much appreciate this perspective, and your honesty in sharing it.
This is so well said. Thank you! Eating and people’s choices for what they eat can be such a personal thing, but I love how you so eloquently explained your decision and will be referring back to this post!
Excellent post Gena!
For the past 2 years I’ve really trying to improve my relationship with food, and focus on really eating intuitively, and for me, being vegan has definitely helped. I know that when I eat a vegan diet, my energy levels are higher, and I feel better about myself, and the world. Yes, going vegan could be seen as a restriction and putting labels “good and “bad” on food, but if you focus instead on all the benefits, and the bounty of foods that you still eat, cutting animal products out is not hard at all. For me, vegan eating is intuitive eating.
One thing I have to work on though is eating without distractions. Far too often I am eating while running around, or on the computer, and don’t even realize I my hunger levels, or even take note of what I am doing. This month I am really going to focus on taking the time to eat without distractions. I think it will enhance all of my eating experiences.
Thank you again for you amazing post and insights.
Hi Gena!
Okay, must confess I read your latest post first and said “Gina” in my head … and then remembered. lol! Thanks for clearing that one up! 😉 Anyhoo- this post is fantastical! I’m always so inspired when I come to your blog and read your posts. You could not have said it better. It’s all about CHOICE… thanks for the thought provoking post. Happy weekend to you! 🙂
I can not agree more than black-listing, or categorizing certain foods as “bad” and “restricted” could have a counter productive. This was one thing I did for SO long, and once I stopped it was so freeing! I now do not “obsess” over what I can’t have, and look to eating what is most nutritious for my body! If i want a treat, I don’t stress over it…and I now can just have a taste, where as before, I would binge on the whole thing and then some because I was putting so much restriction and obsession into my diet. I have a much more laid back approach, and I have been able to stick with eating healthy, and I have no desire to even touch any of the “garbage” because I don’t even think about it, not even a temptation.
Great post!
Your posts continue to be among the most thought-provoking and well-written out there; I think that the topics you choose to delve into truly give folks the opportunity to explore their choices and own thought patterns when it comes to food and lifestyle. Thank you!
WOW Gena I am not sure where to begin…what a great topic.
So many people have made some great points. Lori and I agree with Philip in that we try and try to get our family to eat healthy, but we have realized we can only live our life while supporting them no matter what. We have our choices just as they have theirs, and that is how it should be. No one can make someone else do something let alone make them eat something. My biggest problems with people and eating is respect. I just wish more people respected my way of eating instead of giving me hell for it. Why do I have to be looked at as weird? I do not give people crap for what they eat, I just tell them why I eat the way I do and let them make their own choices.
Man, I could go on for hours, great topic!!!
xoxo
Great post Gena!
No food is bad, we all have to make our own food decisions based on where we are at in life. What our beliefs are, what our bodies tell us, etc.
amazing, thank you gena for another well thought out, brilliant post…
i’ve been thinking about this a lot lately…i discovered that when my mother makes pizza she greases the pan with butter…being that we’re italian, i actually was pretty upset with her, because she always tells me she doesn’t use butter…and she says “it’s only a little”…and that is what everyone says to me “but it’s only a little”…i choose not to eat butter, i never liked butter anyway, i prefer olive oil…but instead of beating myself up about it, because it wasn’t my choice…i let it slide…i’ve made plenty of mistakes with veganism…thinking something was vegan and it turned out not to be…at first i’d become really upset with myself, but sometimes it’s out of my hands, and there is nothing i can do…i know i will never eat my mama’s pizza again…and i know which products to stay away from…but none of this makes me a bad person…i know this. now.
becoming a vegan was a choice i made for health reasons, it then progressed into an ethical and moral issue…my love for animals is above and beyond…but i don’t “hate” people that choose to eat meat or animal products…because i also “love” people…although sometimes…i find i look at the way my family and friends eat as “barbaric”…i need to get over that! i think for me its the way the meat is handled and cooked…
i eat what my body craves, and thankfully my body doesn’t really need too much protein…but i believe whatever protein it needs it gets daily…i eat raw vegan and cooked vegan…depends on the day and how i feel.
thanks again gena!
<3
My 2 pennies…
– I have no issues with anything anyone else eats, ever.
– I don’t see food as “good or bad,” there is no such thing in my reality. Sure, there are foods that may serve us better than others, but either way its a choice. A CHOICE! No guilt either way.
We are here on this Earth to EXPERIENCE! We wanted more! If that means eating Big-Macs and smoking cigarettes daily is your thing, then so be it. Who am I to try to convince you to do it my way (ego). Sometimes living in there bodies can be tough enough, we don’t need to start applying false patterns of guilt to all we do now to, do we?
I tried to convince my dad for years to go raw. After 3 types of cancer and diabetes, he finally passed. One day he said to me… “Philip, I am just going to eat the way I want to, and be happy, until I die.” Now whatever place he was saying this from doesn’t matter, what mattered was in the moment I finally knew he was right. I didn’t need to convince anymore. I supported him, and passed him the pasta. It was HIS life, not mine.
– Every man and animal since the beginning of time until our Modern Age, has eaten intuitively. Shamans healed animals by watching what foods they would intuitively eat when sick. I am big into it, it can just be tricky to hear the signs at first.
I dont have to think about whether I am eating grapes in season or not, my body just doesn’t want them when they are out of season and shipped thousands of miles. It just doesn’t feel right. Just like I hardly ever think of watermelon all year long, until summer rolls up, then its on my mind and I am drawn to it in the grocery store. I even feel little things, like when I am drawn to algae and seaweed too. Its fun listening and believing in yourself, and is a great empowerment tool.
Ok, I think my rambling is done for the day. I am off to NYC for dinner and the Kim Eng event tomorrow! Will you be there Gena?
Another amaaaaazing comment! Thanks, sweetheart!
I’m with you on commenting upon other people’s food choices. MMOB (mind my own beeswax). I also have family members who choose to conduct their lives in ways that are drastically opposed to my own; it isn’t my prerogative to offer up commentary. We humans have free will, and that includes the freedom to take risks if we choose to. Period.
I think intuition is HUGELY important, and very much a part of the way we’re meant to eat, as far as biology and nature goes. I’d also argue that people with serious eating disorder histories have, in some ways, strayed pretty far from nature’s imperatives. Sometimes, they require a level of hyper-conscious thinking that *isn’t* intuitive to maintain their recovery. I think more about what I eat than mother nature intended; I also think that my level of overt consciousness, vigilance, and gratitude have helped me maintain recovery and a healthy mindset for many years. It’s what works for ME, and perhaps for other women with certain kinds of histories, but I don’t think it’s completely intuitive. Would I change that in an *ideal* world? Yes. But I believe it’s a more realistic approach for me.
Make any sense?
I can’t attend, alas! I wish I could. I’m missin’ ya.
xoxo
You are so right! Yeah, I couldn’t intuitively tie my shoe before raw food, no less know what was good for my body. I think it really kicks in after years of clean living… and fasting helps tremendously too.
Miss you! We still need to do a dinner one day… : )
xoxo
Hahaha. Well raw foods did more for me than anything else in teaching me intuition again. It was humbling and totally awesome, and I’ve taken so much away from them, and still do. Even if I don’t consider myself a totally intuitive eater, I consider myself infinitely more intuitive than I ever have been in my life, and that’s pretty cool.
Dinner after mid-July — that month, or anytime in August — would rock!!!!
xoxo
I’m back! I kept thinking about this post after I read it. During my commute home, I read an article in SELF magazine that was about a woman who had skin cancer, but it actually really reminded me of this post, at least insofar as the cognitive dissonance factor. At the risk of being gauche by linking (I see you just said you hate it!) I will paste it here:
http://www.self.com/health/2010/06/tanning-too-much
Maybe you won’t agree, but at least from my perspective on this blog-conversation, I saw some parallels.
Happy Friday! xo
Thanks for this, babes!
I definitely see the parallel, as far as the idea of reconciling positions that are uncomfortable goes. Though I’d say that tanning sans SPF after skin cancer is a more dissonantly extreme than being a plant-based eater after anorexia (or other eating disorders). In the former case, causality is relatively direct: unfettered sun exposure will most likely lead to a recurrence of melanoma in people with certain susceptible skin types. In the latter, it’s a little more tangential: excluding animal products mimics anorexia in that it’s food group exclusion, but it doesn’t mimic anorexia’s major hallmark (and the cause of it’s major related risks, including death), which is caloric restriction/quantity restriction. Some women may use it to limit calories, but in that case I’d say their disorders are still active, whereas a good many women can be vegan or vegetarian with no thought to caloric intake whatsoever. On the other hand, it’s very hard to lie in the sun with no sunscreen and avoid an ultimate cell change if you have a certain skin type — you can’t really direct the consequences with vigilance or a healthy mentality.
And yet, the whole idea of dissonance is certainly relevant!
As a side note, I was offended by the superficiality of the article. Even in jest, this statement:
“Conversely, I have a very high chance of looking better after tanning, which means I’ll have a better chance of attracting a guy who will fall in love with me and will be there for me, even if I get wrinkles or, God forbid, skin cancer.”
…made me a little ill. Kudos to the author for candor; two thumbs down for nonsense.
G xoxo
Yeah, I should have commented further after posting that link. The fact that I read this in SELF is a conversation unto itself, as I think we’ve chatted about on other occasions–the whole “health” magazine genre is not one I’m 100% comfortable with, but sometimes there are some good nuggets in there, so long as we read these rags intelligently (as we both do, thankfully). I happen to agree with you that this article is not one of those good nuggets, and I would have only skimmed it (if not skipped it) had I not read your post first. The author is foolish, IMHO. BUT, being able to see at least that distant parallel between her article and yours got me going on a train of thought that kind of made me realize that food is not the only area where we battle with dissonance, and realizing that will make me more informed, or at least conscious, regarding future internal debates where I’m of two minds and struggle to reconcile one with the other. For me, it’s often a battle not to let my rational, practical side win out all the time, yet there are definitely times when Scientific-and-by-the-Numbers Diana should NOT prevail!
That said, Intuitive-and-in-touch-with-her-feelings Diana does not get to play where skin cancer (or any such illness) is concerned. Shame on the article’s author for being so flip about this.
Thank you so much for this post! I’ve often been fearing lately that my vegan lifestyle is merely a slightly more healthy extension of my disordered eating. But my body responds better physically to this type of diet, and your post helped me see that my restrictions are simply me being “pro-active” with my food choices, not counter-intuitive. Thanx again =]
Well said. I actually wrote a post (called Thou Shalt Not Eat) about food and morality. Here’s the link, in case you’re interested, and on the off chance I can include a link in a comment:
http://www.eatthedamncake.com/2010/03/19/kate-thou-shalt-not-eat/
The question from Sarah is excellent. Thanks for this!
Kate,
I normally *hate* links in comments, but there are exceptions for everything, and this one def gets a pass 😀
xo
Amazing post; there really is nothing else to say! I admire you so much 😀
Gena,
Firstly, this is my *first* time ever, ever commenting, despite having been a religious reader almost since day one! I just want to say I much I admire your animated and heartfelt writing. Cerebral, eloquent.
I have a staggeringly similar background to yourself in terms of struggles – and in recovery. It is patently clear that you have one of the healthiest relationships with food. I resent those who conflate veganism, high raw with disordered eating.
That said, the guide ‘Intuitive Eating’ is often used as a beacon for dieticians treating those with eating disorders. I think, playing devil’s advocate, that it is not so simple to reconcile the two. What of those individuals who appear recovered yet grasp at (what can be) the rigidity of veganism: who conceal dichotomic thinking behind the espousal of ethical concerns? High raw eating; fruitarianism; veganism (for the record, I have practiced the former two, currently practice the latter) – they are mere templates, thinking patterns, lifestyles, with tempting bright lights demarcating what’s good and bad. It’s so nice to see so many people with the privilege of psychological wellness who make it a choice. I simply wonder if it is always so crystal clear or if the waters of choice, rigidity, superiority, moral judgment, and *immense* privilege are sometimes all mired as one.
I write this as someone free from disordered eating, who recognizes that you are the image of vibrant and balanced health.
Again, I love your blog, and admire your writing 🙂
Rebecca,
This is a stellar comment! Thank you for it!
I’ll confess, I regard extreme juice fasting, low-fat raw, and fruitarian lifestyles (esp the latter) with horror, and often wonder how anyone who espouses them could NOT be masking, if not an eating disorder outright, at least food phobia. But then, I realize that to other people, that’s how my lifestyle comes across, so I try to suspend presumption.
I don’t think it’s totally crystal clear. And I’d never say that veganism or high raw is the right choice for all — or even most — ED recoverers. Most women I know who have gone through recovery find that it is impossible to exclude anything from their diets, ever again. But then, a smaller group of them (including me) make the argument that choosing veganism has been life changing and liberating–and instrumental to healing. I hope to write about this topic more as my practice and blog evolve.
Gena
Thank you so much Gena for such a nice, encouraging and articulate reply!! No surprise there!
I agree completely, looking back: extreme fruitarianism seems viscerally and quite simple inherently disordered, but like you (I imagine) my modus operandi is to live and let live. That said, my thoughts mirror your own in terms of such extremes.
Thanks for always being so inspiring 🙂
I for one would love to hear more of your thoughts on the way in which a plant-based lifestyle can promote recovery. These two things definitely went hand-in-hand for me, much to the confusion of some people who were around me during my restrictive phases; they didn’t think that eliminating foods could be a healthy behavior, even though I began to feel more “liberated,” as you put it, when I stopped eating animal proteins. I’m still trying to figure out why veganism promotes a healthy relationship with food and vice versa. I suspect there is some biological cause, but I don’t have the knowledge or training to prove this hypothesis.
I also think there’s something advantageous about opting out of the crazy system that regulates women’s appetites. Coming out of disordered eating, I often heard something like the following message: eat a moderate amount of this destabilizing/addictive substance and ENJOY it because you DESERVE it but don’t go overboard and definitely don’t restrict because then you will have to eat more of this substance to prove your mental stability … and the cycle of crazy continues. Following this plan led me nowhere, and there’s a paranoid part of me that thinks that messages like these just keep women in positions of stasis and self-doubt. They remind me of the messages of the beauty industry … but that’s another comment for another time.
Anyway, thanks for sharing this great question and your thoughtful answer, and I’m looking forward to hearing more of your opinions of the recovery process.
Mrd–
I plan on devoting a long and passionate career to this very topic and issue. So it may be a while before I talk about it much or make too many revelations, but believe me, you’ll hear from me on it 🙂
Gena
Glad to hear it! Thanks Gena!
Awesome post. I struggle with keeping this distance healthy because some foods make me ill so I automatically think of them as good and bad. And, unfortunately, this spills over into my thinking about other foods that don’t make me physically ill, per se, but do cause psychological unease. I find it incredibly easy to fall into the trap of linking what I eat with guilt and self-worth because I feel guilty for eating something knowing that I will feel bad about it or my body won’t thank me for it. Also, I think it’s so difficult to find your intuition and eat intuitively when there are so many things going on externally to yourself and internally that muddy the waters. But I guess that’s something we have to figure out ourselves by stepping back from life almost (through things like your choosing raw cleanse)… Ok, enough of my gabbling on. These are my thoughts 🙂
This post has made me realize how my degree in psychology will benefit me as a nutritionist in the future!
I once heard the term “guilt-free moderation” and thought it was brilliant. Like literally every other action or object, there is no intrinsic moral value tied to food or eating. We make our own judgments about what is best. For me, the litmus test is: what do I feel best about eating? If I put trash in my body, it will show, through my health and sometimes in my wallet. If I am eating unethically, my conscience will weigh on me. Basically, I choose to “do what feels right.”
Thanks for sparking this discussion, Gena!
What an incredible question! I paused to mull over what MY answer would be in my head before reading your response, but of course as usual you outdid me Gena 😉
I really enjoyed reading this. It reminds me of how my experience with food has been over the past year and a half. During the first three months, I ate a vegan diet. (I did not call myself a vegan because I still chose to wear leather, wool, etc… NOT fur, but still..) After three months, I realized that I don’t need meat necessarily, but I still missed cheese and eggs. After some internal struggling with my cravings vs what I know about dairy and the impact on health, I made the decision to let those things back into my diet. I do not eat eggs and cheese every day, but I really enjoy them. I try to make sure to get organic as much as possible, and I am so happy now that I have found a balance with health foods and foods that I eat simply for pleasure. I KNOW there is no reason to eat dairy. I KNOW there is no reason for eggs. But in order for ME to live a happy, healthy, balanced life, I needed to loosen the strings. I now think I eat the healthiest I ever have in my life and I am very happy with my diet. I think in the end, that’s what matters the most.
What an excellent post Gena! Once again you hit the nail on the head, for me.
There have been times in the past where I struggled with so much guilt if I ate “x, y, or z” (as the “healthy” girl). Fortunately, through my own inner healing, I learned that all the guilt and struggle was a sign that I was lacking in the self love department. Beating myself up was hardly the answer. I have come to a point where I am so much more flexible in my approach to food – and I naturally desire the stuff that is good for me.
I commend those folks who listen to their inner guidance and eat what is right for them, whether it’s raw or vegan, or not! As a matter of fact, my dad is a hunter – he goes out with bow and arrow, gets the animal, and does all the hard work to put food on his plate. Even as a strict vegetarian growing up, I have respected what he does. I think we all need to think for ourselves, as no 2 people have the same needs.
And like you said, we are fortunate to even have a choice about what we eat!
Hugs!
Heathy
LOVE your perspective, Heather!
Wow. Not a light read. Holy moly. Gena, you outdid yourself with bringing up so many amazing points and kudos to Sarah who was the original question-poser for her lovely and articulate prose.
My entire life I’ve pretty much been vegetarian but have more often than not, been vegan. Certain times of my life there was dairy involved which is why I couldnt say vegan. Now, when I was pregnant, I ate salmon. I wanted it. I felt my body needed it. Maybe it did or didn’t “need” it, but I wanted it so I had it. Now, I could not imagine eating it. But pregnancy and what our bodies can do and the changes we undergo, well, you have to have an asterisk or caveat I think..b/c you just never know!
I digress…ok so on to the point of butter. I don’t seek dairy out, don’t buy butter,but if it was on veggies, I would have eaten them in your situation. Most notably, because I would have been really hungry and to send food back, “make a scene” and draw even more attention to the fact that “vegans need special food” would have not been something i would have been interested in dealing with, i.e. a million questions from others at that moment.
I hate “defending” or even addressing my vegan diet. I just say I am plant based and drop it 99% of the time. People don’t get it and I am too tired to defend or “explain”. A cop out? Maybe. But as you said, no one single meal defines us and 99.9% of my food is vegan so why obsess over the .1% that may not be.
What a fabulous post!
🙂
Wow, thanks Averie!
Yes, I think that how much one iis comfortable making a “scene” (though I hate that term), is totally personal, like everything else. I’ve no problem being conspicuous about standing up for the way I like to eat, as long as I’m never rude or unkind as I do it. But I also respect that it feels wrong to a lot of other people, who would rather maintain their preferences when they’re in their own space, and bend a little when they’re in others’ space.
G
“But I also respect that it feels wrong to a lot of other people, who would rather maintain their preferences when they’re in their own space, and bend a little when they’re in others’ space” — this is more or less how I do veganism, and it has a lot to do with my low threshold for conflict and social awkwardness. Just wanted to say that it’s really nice to hear an expression of respect from someone who IS more comfortable asserting food preferences… I usually just tell myself I’m being a coward…
The only thing that I don’t agree with you is that choosing to eat meat ( consistently) especially if you were vegan is, not just a bad habit, because it doesn’t hurt only you. In fact it doesn’t actually hurt you it just undermines your health a lot, but the animal that was murdered to make your meal was hurt and tortured . So I would agree with you when it comes to foods like white sugar, processed e.t.c but not when it comes to animal products. There is simply no excuse to murder animals just so you can eat them when you have so many other options and while if you fall off the wagon once or twice it’s not that much a big deal if you do it consistently it’s bad, because it’s not just you on the line. For you it’s just a burger but for the animal it’s its life and body, both rightfully its and you have no right to take them. As you ‘ve realized by now I am a vegan and trying to eat as raw as possible, I ‘ve learned many things thanks to you!! You are doing a wonderful job in your blog I love it! Take care!
Thanks for this good comment, Roselie!
Point taken. I think maybe it’s possible to distinguish between a certain food being “bad” if eaten habitually (such as meat, which, as you say, involves wounding another life) and a person being “bad” for eating it on a rare occasion. When I look at meat, I do think of it in ethical terms, yes — it’s a “bad” food to me in that I do not approve of how it came to be or what it represents. But if I ate it once for whatever reason (not that I can imagine a scenario in which I would!) I still don’t think it would immediately render me a “bad” person in moral terms. To make it a habit, though, would certainly undermine my own thoughts about what is or isn’t humane, and that would be a bad pattern.
Hope that makes a modicum of sense.
And I meant “for me.” A fabulous book editor I am not.
Agreed! For my intuitive eating has also encompassed listening to only MY intuition and not what my society, family, self-imposed/externally-imposed rules, say. Your intuition is probably what told you to send the terrine back…it has nothing to do with butter being bad, but more to do with your gut telling you (literally and figuratively) that it wasn’t a good choice for you.
Bravo again, Gena!
PS I guess I do use moral terminology for food, but to me it is about making a choice that has moral significance. I’m not the root cause of the problems with our food system, so I don’t see my choices as making me a bad or good person, but I do think the choices have moral significance.
PSS I love that you have started asking us questions! It’s fun! lol
To me intuitive eating is about trying to feel what my body needs (or doesn’t) nutritionally and emotionally. If I eat a bunch of crap, as I do every now and then, that intuition is masked. I make choices about what foods are moral and what foods are healthy, and I try my best to make those decisions more rational and less emotional. Intuitive eating to me means recognizing that I am overeating, or recognizing that I am hungry, or recognizing that my body is gravitating towards fruit or leafy greens or grains or fats. When my body gravitates towards things I prefer not to eat (for moral or health reasons), I try to figure out what my body is really saying- is it saying “I’m addicted to that!” or “I need more fat!” or “I’m emotionally needy right now” or “I want a treat”? And then I try to select a food that I find moral and healthy. That doesn’t always work, but I certainly don’t find intuitive eating at odds with choices like veganism, so long as the options you give yourself are nutritionally satisfying.
Gena, this is truly a wonderful post. And you know – the intent of you choosing to title your blog “Choosing Raw” translates exactly as such – it’s ouroverall choices that do matter, not one meal, not one random bite here or there. It’s not a definitive statement of who I am if I have one tiny bite of cake when I am avoiding gluten and dairy. I really try my hardest to make what I eat as undogmatic and unpolitical as possible – it’s what I choose to put in my body, I don’t need it to be a huge battle with anyone else.
this is a really interesting post. and really thought provoking.
i would agree it’s difficult to remove an emotional connection with food all together. But i think it helps, and is especially relevant to most plant-based eaters, to think of food as fueling the body. Now the food that you eat is doing good for the body but it’s “good” because it’s doing it’s job. and i think intuitive eating means letting food do it’s job and not using it to deal with other emotional issues.
The “right” (subjective) combination, amount, and type of food that makes you feel good should be the “neutral” of the good/bad predicament. this might not be all-inclusive (sometimes some chocolate really does make you feel GOOD), bit it should mean letting food be food and non-food have little relation to it.
Great post!
“…because I have the option of living without it, and that option feels superior to me than living with it.”
YES! Your written expression of your thoughts is just so eloquent! This is such a relevant post. I struggle with this as a dietitian-to-be and am just about to enter my dietetic internship… I struggle with seeing a way for me to educate others about healthy food choices while considering ethics, the environment, and financial status at the same time. Our nutrition program has stressed the “everything in moderation” mantra and that no food is a bad food; however, I just can’t agree. Like you stated, I don’t see the compassion in conventionally raised, factory farmed meat and dairy products, and I can’t in good conscience recommend this to someone as a “good” food. No one is perfect, and I do realize that choices are often limited and we cannot always make the decisions we would like to, 100% of the time. A conscious omnivore probably likes to eat only organic etc. meat but may make exceptions with family, on long road trips, or when food is otherwise scarce.
But this brings it all back to your original statement I quoted. If I am privileged enough to choose this way of life, I will. I will make choices that make me feel good. I also realize that my choices can make eating out with family members frustrating, because my family values cost over ethics and taste. My fam just wants a cheap meal and some grease, and they don’t want to wait for it. Even if I was an omnivore, as a nutrition lover I couldn’t and wouldn’t eat where they eat. Don’t you just wish everything was in its right place in this world so eating preferences wouldn’t have to be such an issue in relationships??
What a great question by Sarah! Definitely something to consider where veganism is concerned, and after reading your answer, I realize I’ve probably grappled with similar conflicting thoughts. I’m definitely a thinking being, to a fault, if anything. I could probably rationalize the existence of Santa Claus to myself if I wanted to, meaning that when it has come to food choices, I can recall times when I managed to convince myself that eating a pint of ice cream all at once was well-deserved, but I can also recall times when I talked myself out of putting goat cheese on a salad (despite really wanting it) because it was “bad” and surely the animal proteins would warp my fragile system.
Ultimately, for me, food choices tend to fall at an intersection of what I determine to be healthy, but also affordable and somewhat convenient.
I don’t consider my food choices exclusive…I consider them the only choices that are right for me. I also don’t think of htings in terms of I can/can’t have something, but more along the lines of what is going to make me feel the best?
Sure other people think I’m out of my mind but I try not to let that sway me!
Wow…great question, and great answer. Definitely something that I’ve struggled with as well, since becoming vegetarian. It’s interesting, I don’t think of foods in terms of “good” or “bad,” but “ethical” and “unethical”? Certainly, and even more so now that I’m a vegetarian. It can be really hard to reconcile promoting a certain type of diet associated with rules and “can’t have _____s” with the mindset that I’d like to cultivate, which would be freedom from labeling foods good or bad, yes or no foods, and a mindset of intuitive eating.
Great post!
I totally agree with your perception of the book. It is totally about the psychological impacts foods have on self-worth, especially when labeling something that is 100% neutral as bad. Food is neutral!
As far as being vegan, like you, I do it for many reasons. In our society, we are obsessed with duality and polarity, labeling things as good or bad. Do I feel healthier, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually when I eat vegan? YES! But I wouldn’t punish myself for eating a piece of cheese. Like you said, it has no impact on my self-worth.
Great post! And good answer! xoxo
I put some of the most precious pictures up on my blog. It is cuteness overload! You might enjoy them and get a smile 🙂
This is a really great question & answer. As I’ve mentioned to you before, I’ve butted heads with people over the whole concept of “good” and “bad” food. The nutritionist I saw briefly in college when I was trying to get more in tune with my health and body image hated that there were foods I refused to eat… not because they would make me fat, but because I either viewed them as unnatural or they clashed with some of my moral standpoints. I finally stopped seeing this nutritionist because I simply clashed too much with him and felt that I had gotten what I wanted to obtain by going. My next challenge was facing the rest of the world and having to respond to comments and questions about my food “choices”.
Looking at it as a choice to eat as I do, similar to yourself, is truly the best way for me to go about explaining my food philosophy. I choose not to eat eggs or Oreos, but if I were stranded somewhere with eggs and Oreos as my only option (bizarre scenario, I know), I would eat them and I wouldn’t have made a “bad” choice… I would have simply made a choice. Yes, I believe there are unhealthy and healthier ways to eat, but as life is not black and white, the same goes for food. Plus, my choices should not frame others choices… a piece of cheese is not viewed the same way by me and my fiance, but that doesn’t make eating it a good or bad choice on either of our parts. It’s simply a choice.
As I have learned over the years about food and how my body reacts to it, I have found that a vegan diet with no sugar and minimal flour products feels best for me physically and ethically. However, sometimes when I am traveling or at a party, I will end up eating some cheese or eggs out of convenience or pleasure. For me, I have to accept myself when I do such things and not feel bad about it because I think it is worse for my mental health to feel bad about eating cheese. Also, I think labeling how I eat (vegan/vegetarian) can be useful at some times to describe what I prefer to eat, but also can be sort of limiting and make me feel like a “bad vegan” if I eat cheese.
great insights! I think it’s hard to eat intuitively unless the diet is unprocessed because processed foods (especially artificial flavors, MSG, etc) trick the body into craving the wrong things. as for vegan versus non vegan–we are instinctual beings but also cognitive ones too. and hopefully have ethics.
This is such a good point that I had never considered! I had always been a fan of intuitive eating but you are absolutely right! Gena I also only agree with intuitive eating to a point. I think it’s extremely difficult (at least for me) to be so ultra in tune with my body that I know what I’m craving (because let me tell you – usually when I think I want A, B or C I actually don’t). However, there are times when I think “oh I should use that spinach before it turns and make a nice salad” and then I think “you know what? I really don’t want a salad. I don’t care, I’m going to eat a baked sweet potato because that sounds good right now”
Thanks Gena! I recently found out that as a family we are very sensitive for a number of products, eg soy, dairy, beans and most nuts and seeds. As a result we eat a lot more meat than I would like to. Once upon a time I was a vegetarian 🙂 but now I find it very difficult to find replacements that my children (and husband) would eat. This sometimes makes me feel bad, but then I realise that my options are limited, and this is the right thing to do at the moment. I make sure our meat is organic, and the fish is MSC certified. That’s all I can do for now. Until I find better options.
I think it all goes down at integrity. Food choices shouldn’t be dictated as “good” or “bad” but rather at “according to my core values” or “against what I truly want”. If “bad” food would mean “bad” person, this would mean that we are all a bad person to someone else eye.
For me, there’s food I choose to eat, and other that I don’t. But food is not a religion. It always irks me when I hear people say: “oh, that’s true, you’re not allowed to eat this” when offering me something I don’t eat. It’s not that I’m not allowed, it’s simply that I choose not to. And if one day, for some reason I would change my mind, it wouldn’t be a betrayal or cheating. It would simply mean that the situation and/or my point of view changed. Being vegan (or vegetarian) means to me that for now, I choose not to eat food that comes from an animal. It’s not a solonel vow of never ever touch those foods anymore as if they were evil! It’s a decision I take at every moment. And as far as it goes, I haven’t changed it yet.
Again, I think that the best is really to do what your heart tells you to. To live with integrity, and eat according to your won values.
Wonderful post. Being relatively new to a vegan diet, this is something I’ve been struggling with while accepting those around me who aren’t vegans and analyzing why this works well for me.
what a fantastic post! i think the issue of making choices is essential. I was a vegan for 6 years, but then made the choice to start eating dairy/eggs/seafood/chicken again because i was having difficulty digesting wheat & soy (and i am a protein fiend so going without them wouldn’t have worked). it’s been almost 4 1/2 years since i left veganism but i still struggle with it ethically sometimes. when i look at my eating from an intuitive perspective however, i feel a little better about it. my body is telling me what it needs and i am listening. and i am healthier now that i ever was before because of it. some people (like you, i assume) can live very healthy vegan lives, but I was not one of those people…and that does not make me bad or defective (i keep telling myself)…i just have to try to eat as ethically as i can while still giving my body the fuel it wants.
wow, what a rant, sorry! i guess the post really inspired me!
Steff, this is a hard place to be, I can relate, I so want to be vegan, and I go long stretches, but I think my body likes protein too. Or at least it hates grains! I’m doing the VEGA smoothies for now, we’ll see how it goes. Ana Forrest, the yoga teacher, who returned to eating meat (because grains were poisoning her), talks about how she reconciles eating meat with the yogic principle of ahimsa – it’s definitely possible.
I’m exceedingly lucky in that my body is fairly impervious to protein intake (though I always get “enough” in my diet each day). But oh my god, the idea of grains being “poisonous” would break my heart!!!
I feel the pain! I am intolerant to many grains, especially gluten filled. I have difficulty with nuts, seeds, and beans. I want to be vegan. I believe it is the healthiest way to eat. I am currently trying to rotate foods to help keep inflammatory reactions at bay. This does help, yet I find myself hungry often. I end up filling up on sweet potatoes, and fruit. This is getting old, I so want to eat healthy. I don’t crave meat. I don’t even want to cook it. What’s a person like me to do?
Betty, I’ve been experimenting a little bit with more grains in my diet. I find if I keep it to half cup cooked at most, I can tolerate millet pretty well, or pre-soaked oats. The amount of grains in a gluten-free Babycakes cupcake hasn’t killed me yet. 🙂 It’s the more typical vegan diet with grains at every meal that would leave me comatose. I don’t seem to tolerate grain-legume combos either. I love hummus though and I’ve been making an awesome “tabouleh” to accompany it sans bulgur wheat.
Ladies, if you can tolerate millet, buckwheat and quinoa ought to be worth experimenting with, too!
Are you familiar with Karina of glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com? Many of her dishes are grain-based, but she does have others. Mostly she cooks vegetarian or vegan, and if you can tolerate quinoa or starchy vegetables, you should get on all right.
The other thing to consider is that there is a subset of the raw foods movement who hold up 80/10/10 as their ideal – a diet comprising eighty percent carbohydrate, and thus a diet that involves filling up on a lot of fruit. I’m GF and vegan, and while I do enjoy my nut butters and putting soya milk in my tea, I mostly get by on fruits, roots, and greens. 🙂
Thanks, Greenling.
80-10-10 is not a modality that I am particularly fond of or support, but of course every body is different.
For me it definitely comes down to choice. Frequently someone will comment on how I don’t *like* meat. I always correct them: I love the taste of chicken and seafood, and a really perfect burger is good, too. I simply CHOOSE not to eat those foods because of the convictions I have about those foods being poor for my health, the environment, and being ethically inferior. Sometimes I feel bad not taking part in a good meat-filled meal with friends, not because I want the food, or think the food is bad, but because sometimes it’s just annoying to work more to make a separate meal, or to not share in the experience. Neither of those reasons has anything to do with the food, though. Because I *could* eat meat if I wanted to. I would like to, sometimes, and I admit that. But in the end I don’t because I feel better standing by my convictions.