Whenever I write about my experience of eating disorders, I make a point of saying that the healing process isn’t linear. It’s full of odd, surprising twists and turns, realizations and moments that take one by surprise. Still, it’s natural to hope that a linear trend will emerge. After all, it’s the promise of change, of transformation, that keeps us going when the process is at its ugliest. When recovery was at its worst for me—when I was feeling the most robbed of…

Week 3 of the DI is behind me, week 4 is about to begin. This past week was the most challenging to date; the excitement of a new beginning had started to wear off, and the reality of a long year ahead was settling in. For the first time, I felt overwhelmed by the pace and the ever-shifting schedule. I’ve worked hard to create more slowness in my life, and right now it feels difficult to protect it. Toward the end of the…

My current DI placement is at a nursing home that offers both long- and short-term care. I’m learning a lot about what and how people eat when they’re recovering from surgeries or in the process of rehabilitation. And I’m gaining a better understanding of food choices and habits toward the end of life. Not surprisingly, much of what people ask for are simple, familiar, and comforting foods. This echoes an insight that struck me when I read Being Mortal a year or so…

Two Aprils ago, I sat in my apartment with a college friend who over the years has become like a brother to me, though he lives on the West Coast and we see each other only a few times each year. “You know,” he said, “I know it’s last minute and you’ll probably say no, but you should come to Passover at my Mom’s tonight.” The invitation made good sense; I’d become close to his family when we were undergraduates, and, since his…

This summer began with the weight of my expectations bearing down on it, no matter how much I wanted to keep an open mind. It was to be my first summer without any graduate school classes since 2008, which alone felt major, and I was hoping to spend at least part of it celebrating graduation. I was also intent on it being a summer of rest and restoration, friend time and play time and free time. Having worked myself into a state of…