I heard someone recently describe the experience of asking a professional mentor what me might do to accelerate his career. His mentor said something to the effect of “trust the process.” By this, he meant to be diligent, to work hard each day, and to have faith in the systems in place. The person relaying this story told me how disappointed he was to get this advice. He was hoping for sexier guidance: a hot tip about a fast track he could take,…

Last weekend I was in upstate New York, where my oldest friend’s parents have a home. It’s a very special place for me, a place where I spent a lot of time as a kid and young adult. I’ve celebrated weddings, graduations, and one memorial service in that home. When I think back on the most formative experiences that I had as a young person, many of them are linked to Chatham. Thanks to Covid and the fact that Chloe lives in another…

One of the interesting things that can happen when you recover from an eating disorder is that some of your compulsions get rerouted from food and exercise to other places. No one told me this about recovery. So I was surprised when, years after my food behaviors normalized, I found myself getting disproportionately worked up things like scheduling. Rigidity about food diffused. But a sneaky tendency to be rigid and anxious about planning emerged. It wasn’t so extreme that it interfered with my…

Have you seen My Octopus Teacher on Netflix? (Some spoilers below if you haven’t yet.) My Octopus Teacher is the story of filmmaker and naturalist Craig Foster, who lives near an underwater kelp forest off the coast of South Africa. Foster is a free diver. On one of his dives he came across an octopus who captivated him with her ingenious methods of outsmarting prey. Foster was so fascinated by the octopus that he committed to visiting her every day for the course…