I’m still in the low-key August retreat mode that I mentioned last Sunday. If I had to sum up what this means, I’d say that it’s an effort to have some quiet, domestic, solitary time.

What prompted this initially was small stirrings of depression: the telltale fatigue, the persistent sadness and darkening thoughts.

I know myself well enough to know that rest and a lightened schedule can be very helpful when I feel this way. It’s often enough to draw me away from the precipice of a longer depressive spell and bring me back to myself.

So I’ve been taking it easy, enjoying more quiet nights at home, and compressing my work schedule so that I have longer gaps.

Another good reason for this staycation of sorts is to mind my budget. I traveled in June and early July, which was wonderful, yet comes with the tradeoff of being conscientious with spending this month.

One easy way to save is to “shop the pantry.” I’ve been doing this slowly, using up some of the many boxes and jars and frozen packages of food that I’ve got lying around. And I’ve been shocked at how much I actually have.

It’s the same same reaction I had a couple summers ago when I moved apartments. I couldn’t believe how many boxes of pasta were hiding in my cabinets! Whether this was the result of Covid-era stockpiling or an over-indulgence of my enjoyment of novel pasta shapes, I’m not sure. What I know is that I owned more pasta than one solo-dwelling person ever should.

I’m in a similar boat now, with many vegan pasta suppers in my future.

Not only that. I’ve found duplicate jars of roasted red peppers and on my shelves. Cans of beans that need using. Dried fruit and nuts that will soon be past their prime. A freezer full of neatly labeled meal prep spillover and various breads that I haven’t yet gotten to.

For someone who actually doesn’t have much storage space, I’m more than fully stocked. All that I need to keep replenishing is fresh produce.

Cooking from what I have is a totally different order of events from how I usually meal plan. I generally start my week with some recipe ideas in my head. I shop accordingly, then bring those ideas to life.

Right now, it’s the opposite. Rather than working backwards from an idea, I’m letting the idea of a meal emerge based on what I have. Some very nice lunches and dinners have resulted, if I do say so myself.

I’m being reminded of something I felt when I was assigned the so-called SNAP Challenge as a graduate school assignment in 2016. Being given a limitation can help us to appreciate what we take for granted.

That one-week assignment forced me to reframe my attitude toward leftovers. It was most efficient to cook a few, inexpensive dishes in bulk, so my diet was quite repetitive for seven days.

Rather than complaining about this, I started to find peace in rediscovering the same meal a few times. It was nice not having to think too hard about what my then boyfriend and I were going to eat.

Without any pressure to make meals exciting or innovative—something I feel constantly as a recipe developer—I could enjoy relatively simple dishes.

My takeaway at the end of that week was heightened awareness of how much privilege I enjoy when it comes to food. I eat out pretty often and rarely deny myself a new ingredient or product. I have choice about how I eat (i.e. being vegan) and what I eat. And I enjoy the truest privilege of all, which is having enough to eat in the first place.

Right now I don’t have such a strict budget or parameters as I did for that assignment. I’ve been running to the store when I want to supplement what’s in the pantry and freezer. I haven’t cancelled all of my social plans or stopped dining out, because a balance of taking it easy and being in the world is good for me.

But I’m once again learning to relish simplicity and to embrace repetition.

Most of all, I’m strengthening the muscle of wanting what I already have. That’s a really important muscle to keep strong, for so many reasons.

I’m wishing you a week of finding contentment in what’s already there. Happy Sunday, friends. Here are some recipes and reads.

Recipes

1. A savory galette for peak tomato season.

2. Sesame red pepper tofu looks so flavorful.

3. Somehow I haven’t yet made a single batch of potato salad this summer. This smashed potato salad may be a LDW event!

4. I’ve made a cold rice salad before, but not a cold and crispy one. I’ll have to give this recipe a try.

5. A simple, yet beautiful vegan plum cake.

Reads

1. I’ve not recently supported a loved one going through chemotherapy, but it’s an experience we’ll all encounter. When I do, I’ll re-read this thoughtful list of gifts to give folks who are going through chemo.

2. The world’s oldest living person passed away this week. Spain’s Maria Branyas Morera told the Guinness World Records website that longevity had much to do with “order, tranquility, good connection with family and friends, contact with nature, emotional stability, no worries, no regrets, lots of positivity and staying away from toxic people”.

Morera added, “I think longevity is also about being lucky.”

It all rings true to me.

3. While I’m all for abiding by best practices when it comes to routine medical screenings, there’s also a real downside to receiving excess care, which this article spotlights.

4. I’m looking forward to reading Kate Manne’s new-ish book about anti-fat bias, Unshrinking, and I enjoyed this profile of how she’s been reckoning with the topic.

5. A beautiful and poignant essay by writer Anna Gibbs on her mom’s death and the guidance about womanhood that she left behind.

Gibbs writes,

“My mom thought a lot about what she was passing down to me, first as a mother, then as a mother who was leaving. She handed down the lesson that womanhood is a gift—but it came packaged with the shame inherent to a woman’s existence in this world. She prepared for that, too, by giving me the capacity to navigate it. To have the courage to say I love you, I love you, I love you to myself as many times as I need to until I believe it. To forgive myself in the times I don’t. And to give this same grace to all the women I’m walking the way with.”

I’ve been thinking lately about self-love. What does it mean to love ourselves?

More and more, my understanding of self-love seems to echo what Gibbs is saying here. And I, too, am learning how to forgive myself when it feels out of reach.

I’m wishing you a restful end to your Sunday. More simple recipes ahead this week.

xo