I’m about to articulate something that I neither say nor feel frequently: I’m proud of myself.
This was a very tough week for me, but toward the end of the week I responded to a challenging situation in a way that made me realize how far I’ve come and how much I’ve grown. It made me glad to be the kind of person I that I am.
I thought I’d keep this feeling to myself, let it be private, and write about something else today. But when I woke up this morning, still processing the experience, I decided it might be worthwhile to verbalize it.
When I first started blogging (a truly inconceivable fifteen years ago!), I learned quickly the value of being open about hardship.
I was different back then—more confident in many ways—but I was still making my way out of my eating disorder. I decided to be open about that journey, and I’m glad that I was.
The honesty moved me forward in my process and kept me accountable. It also helped me to create community and hold space for healthy, unashamed dialog.
I’ve had similar experiences writing about tussles with depression and anxiety, heartbreak and professional disappointment. We all grapple with these things. When we talk about them, privately or publicly, we remind each other that struggle is a fundamental part of being human.
What this means is that the act of saying and writing, giving language to things, can be both personally and collectively transformative.
As a person who’s prone to judgment, it’s been important for me to own my struggles in writing. In doing that, I’ve learned to forgive myself, to appreciate my own wholeness. I’ve come to a place where I can regard my foibles with humor and gentleness. I accept that I have blind spots I’ll never fully apprehend, just like everybody else.
Similarly, I think it’s important to talk about the moments that feel indicative of growth.
I keep thinking about the time that someone described a relationship with prayer in the following way: “God doesn’t only want to hear from you when something’s wrong.”
It’s OK to acknowledge what’s working, to see progress, and to give thanks.
Increasingly, I realize that it’s as vital to celebrate as it is to grieve. Given my tendency toward melancholy, I think it’s actually essential to do this.
So here I am, doing it.
In the midst of a season that has been mostly humbling, marked by low confidence and self-doubt, I had a moment of appreciation for my hard-won progress and growth. I was reminded of how strong I am, how intuitive and resilient.
I hope that the coming week gives you a similar moment of healthy self-appreciation. I hope that you can give it as much attention as you do the more critical moments of self-evaluation. We all tend to dwell on those disproportionately, I think, but we shouldn’t.
Happy Sunday, friends. Here are some recipes and reads.
Recipes
1. I’ve been pickling a lot of summer squash lately, and I’d also love to make this tasty squash casserole.
2. A beautiful and nourishing golden-colored soup.
3. Is it too late in the season for pasta salad? If not, I want to make this comfort food version.
4. Love the idea of orange/citrus notes in a vegan chili.
5. These roasted butternut squash tacos are going on my fall recipe list for sure.
Reads
1. In spite of how obsessed our culture is with the quantified self, many young people are unaware of the importance of knowing their blood pressure numbers. This article explains how important that particular form of health literacy is.
2. I just discovered the “My Unsung Hero” podcast via NPR. I’m always touched by stories of strangers looking out for each other, and the stories featured are beautiful examples of humanity in action.
3. An interesting (if discouraging) look at how research grant applications can slow down science.
4. Who doesn’t love a very technical and comprehensive list of baking substitutes?
5. This is a take on the pressures that authors and artists feel to self-promote via social media in the digital age, and how that pressure can erode one’s sense of self. What I liked about it is that the author ultimately returns to her craft as a way to reconstitute that sense of self.
It’s another reminder of the power of writing, or any kind of self-expression.
On that note, I’m about to pile a big warm heap of my brothy white beans onto garlic toasts and enjoy them with whatever salad greens and vinaigrette I find in my fridge.
I’m also happy to report that I made my first pumpkin recipe of the season, a batch of my vegan pumpkin muffins, on Thursday. As a result, I’ve got half a can of pumpkin puree and a great excuse to make my 8-ingredient vegan pumpkin pasta.
Yay, fall!
Wishing you a cozy, restorative afternoon.
xo
You might also like
Another week, and I’m finally getting the swing of things here. The apartment is looking good, and I’m catching up on my nutrition counseling and signing on a lot of new clients, and life is falling into place. Moving week eats aside, I can’t wait to share a little more food here on CR. So, that’s coming soon. In the meantime, you can savor food from some of my foodie friends. Heaven in a mason jar: Allyson’s roasted strawberry and vanilla almond parfaits….
I ran out to do a quick errand on Thursday. As I was dashing back home, I heard someone shout my name on the street. When I turned around, the woman who had called out to me had her hand over her mouth in disbelief. She told me she couldn’t believe that it was me and that I had responded. She said that she’s a longtime reader, visiting some family in NYC. Over the years, she’s come to feel as though she’s a…
This week has given me reminders of impermanence, in ways big and small. First, there’s the fact of it being September, a time of seasonal transition and letting go of summer. There have also been some changes in my neighborhood, which is sort of crazy if you consider that I’ve lived here only two years. My local neighborhood Italian restaurant, which opened right after I moved, has already closed. It’s been a big part of my life, and while I know that restaurants…
After one week off, it feels like a while since I’ve checked in for the weekend roundup! It’s good to be back. And I’m back at the very start of a week long break between DI rotations. I haven’t quite settled into it yet, but I have high hopes for some rest, some cooking, and some time with Ashley, who’s coming to visit later this week. A few weeks ago, I wrote about riding an ugly wave of body dysmorphia, my most intense…
Leave a Comment
This resonates with me. Sometimes you keep your head down trying to survive the journey and you don’t realize you have actually been climbing a small mountain very slowly. Suddenly you look back and realize how far you have come!
Congrats to you, you deserve to be proud and to celebrate your achievements!