I just got back from a cozy weekend upstate, where I was staying with a good friend and her family.

There was sitting by the fireplace, gazing at my friend’s impressively tall, fully decorated Christmas tree. There were fresh bagels for breakfast, tea and chocolate in the afternoon, and a couple of really excellent homemade dinners.

Most of all, my friend and I had that rare luxury of long catch-up conversations over the course of two days.

We kept trying to wrap our heads around the fact that it had been three years since I’d gone up to visit. How could this be true? Were we somehow miscalculating?

Sadly, it was true. Life moves quickly these days.

Fortunately, my friend Ali and I picked up right where we’d left off. We were chatting as if we’d seen each other yesterday from the moment she picked me up at the train station.

Even so, I reflected on why I hadn’t been more proactive about planning the weekend sooner. I’ve been busy, and so has she; gaps in in-person time are part of adult friendship. But three years is more time than it should have been.

For my own part, I know that I’ve been a little retreated in the last two years. 

I don’t mean that I’ve been isolated, exactly. I’ve been as social and connected as I can be. But I’ve been carrying a lot of stress, privately and internally. My confidence has been low in all ways.

I wrote about the concept of retreat in August. I was thinking about it positively at the time, as a means of recharging and getting clear on priorities. And retreat can be just that: a temporary withdrawal from the world for the purpose of introspection, self-study, or rejuvenation.

By definition, retreat can also be “process of withdrawing especially from what is difficult, dangerous, or disagreeable.” As a noun, it can refer to “a place of privacy or safety.”

This second of retreat may be necessary, but its very meaning signals the existence of tough or daunting circumstances.

In either case, it’s possible to retreat too far. When I arrived at my friend’s place on Friday night, greeted by warmth and holiday decorations and big hugs from her kids, I felt right away how much I’d been craving that kind of embrace. 

On the following evening, I kept offering to help my friend as she prepared dinner. She replied that she was happy to do the cooking, and she noted that it’s probably rare that I can relax and allow someone to take care of me.

It was such a perceptive thing for her to say. Last Sunday, I wrote about cooking for others and how good that feels. It also feels good to be fed. 

Happy Sunday, friends. Here are some recipes and reads. 

Recipes

1. A quick cabbage stir fry for weeknight meals.

2. I just love the looks of this mushroom noodle soup.

3. On the topic of mushrooms, these vegan vol-au-vents look so festive.

4. My friend Ali made this boiled tofu dish over the weekend, with rice, and it’s really delicious.

5. Vegan frangipane cranberry tart is the most festive of festive desserts!

Reads

1. A short excerpt from Leigh Ann Henion’s upcoming book about darkness and dimness ought may resonate if you’ve been struggling with burnout lately. 

2. Air protein!

3. A look at the promise of vagus nerve stimulation as a treatment for IBD.

4. There seems to be more awareness than ever about the dangers of TBIs, or traumatic brain injuries, including concussions. In a sobering but important article, NBC Health reports on the fact that many survivors of domestic violence suffer concussions that go undiagnosed and untreated.

5. The 2025 Dietary Guidelines for Americans will recommend a greater proportion of protein intake from plants—specifically beans and lentils. Hooray! I’m always happy when legumes get the attention that they deserve.

Speaking of lentils, I haven’t had the usual time to meal prep this weekend, so I’m planning on whipping up a batch of my simple red wine braised lentils tomorrow.

Also tomorrow, I’ll also be sharing a new lentil recipe. This one features carrots prominently as well, and it’s perfect for celebrations. If you haven’t yet picked a plant-based main dish for your holiday this year, it could be the one.

Wishing you an evening filled with comfort and connection.

xo