I just got back from a cozy weekend upstate, where I was staying with a good friend and her family.
There was sitting by the fireplace, gazing at my friend’s impressively tall, fully decorated Christmas tree. There were fresh bagels for breakfast, tea and chocolate in the afternoon, and a couple of really excellent homemade dinners.
Most of all, my friend and I had that rare luxury of long catch-up conversations over the course of two days.
We kept trying to wrap our heads around the fact that it had been three years since I’d gone up to visit. How could this be true? Were we somehow miscalculating?
Sadly, it was true. Life moves quickly these days.
Fortunately, my friend Ali and I picked up right where we’d left off. We were chatting as if we’d seen each other yesterday from the moment she picked me up at the train station.
Even so, I reflected on why I hadn’t been more proactive about planning the weekend sooner. I’ve been busy, and so has she; gaps in in-person time are part of adult friendship. But three years is more time than it should have been.
For my own part, I know that I’ve been a little retreated in the last two years.
I don’t mean that I’ve been isolated, exactly. I’ve been as social and connected as I can be. But I’ve been carrying a lot of stress, privately and internally. My confidence has been low in all ways.
I wrote about the concept of retreat in August. I was thinking about it positively at the time, as a means of recharging and getting clear on priorities. And retreat can be just that: a temporary withdrawal from the world for the purpose of introspection, self-study, or rejuvenation.
By definition, retreat can also be “process of withdrawing especially from what is difficult, dangerous, or disagreeable.” As a noun, it can refer to “a place of privacy or safety.”
This second of retreat may be necessary, but its very meaning signals the existence of tough or daunting circumstances.
In either case, it’s possible to retreat too far. When I arrived at my friend’s place on Friday night, greeted by warmth and holiday decorations and big hugs from her kids, I felt right away how much I’d been craving that kind of embrace.
On the following evening, I kept offering to help my friend as she prepared dinner. She replied that she was happy to do the cooking, and she noted that it’s probably rare that I can relax and allow someone to take care of me.
It was such a perceptive thing for her to say. Last Sunday, I wrote about cooking for others and how good that feels. It also feels good to be fed.
Happy Sunday, friends. Here are some recipes and reads.
1. A quick cabbage stir fry for weeknight meals.
2. I just love the looks of this mushroom noodle soup.
3. On the topic of mushrooms, these vegan vol-au-vents look so festive.
4. My friend Ali made this boiled tofu dish over the weekend, with rice, and it’s really delicious.
5. Vegan frangipane cranberry tart is the most festive of festive desserts!
1. A short excerpt from Leigh Ann Henion’s upcoming book about darkness and dimness ought may resonate if you’ve been struggling with burnout lately.
2. Air protein!
3. A look at the promise of vagus nerve stimulation as a treatment for IBD.
4. There seems to be more awareness than ever about the dangers of TBIs, or traumatic brain injuries, including concussions. In a sobering but important article, NBC Health reports on the fact that many survivors of domestic violence suffer concussions that go undiagnosed and untreated.
5. The 2025 Dietary Guidelines for Americans will recommend a greater proportion of protein intake from plants—specifically beans and lentils. Hooray! I’m always happy when legumes get the attention that they deserve.
Speaking of lentils, I haven’t had the usual time to meal prep this weekend, so I’m planning on whipping up a batch of my simple red wine braised lentils tomorrow.
Also tomorrow, I’ll also be sharing a new lentil recipe. This one features carrots prominently as well, and it’s perfect for celebrations. If you haven’t yet picked a plant-based main dish for your holiday this year, it could be the one.
Wishing you an evening filled with comfort and connection.
xo
In honor of the long weekend (and because my boyfriend and I found ourselves ensnared by a mini-marathon of The Americans last night), I’m posting Weekend Reading today. I hope you’ve been enjoying this Labor Day, and whether it’s a holiday for you or not, I hope that you’ve been having a wonderful Monday. It’s about 90 degrees and humid here in NYC, but I’m still getting kinda excited for oatmeal season. Katie’s blueberry maple baked oatmeal looks like just the thing for…
My yoga teacher surprised us yesterday by announcing that we wouldn’t be doing our traditional, Saturday morning primary series. Instead, we’d be doing 108 sun salutations. Here’s a quick explanation of some of the reasons that some yoga communities do 108 salutations at different points in the year. I’ve done it once before, when I was living in DC. I was twenty-nine at the time, a less experienced yogi but definitely in better shape than I am now. As soon as my teacher…
Earlier this year, my oldest friend mentioned that her family needed to be in Denver for a few days in June. They’d rented a place, and since there was room for one more, she asked whether I’d like to join. I’ll be traveling with her family again later this month, and as a result, I wasn’t sure I could take the time away this past week. As the dates of her stay in Denver approached, however, I realized how much I wanted to…
I’ve wondered about Murphy’s Law, the saying that asserts, “anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” People reference Murphy’s Law when complaining of multiple unfortunate things that happen in a short period of time or in an interrelated way. And it’s true that certain days or events or projects seem a little cursed, right? Or is it that, once one thing has gone wrong, we become more sensitized to what’s not working? Were there always a lot of things going off the…
Leave a Comment