I’ve had a lot to learn in the past four weeks, as is true for anyone who assumes a new role. And like most fresh hires, I’ve been overwhelmed at times.
The patient-facing care comes easily to me. It’s continuous with what I do as a private practice RD, only more specific and with a different group patients.
But one-on-one time with patients is only part of the job.
When I’m not counseling, I’m busy reviewing medications, brushing up on lab values, navigating an EHR I haven’t seen in a while and figuring out an EMR that’s brand new to me.
I probably haven’t had to learn so much, so quickly, since my dietetic internship year.
Most of us would say that we love to learn, but the truth is that it’s often unpleasantly humbling to learn new things.
I experienced this vividly through my grad school journey. I began with high hopes and lots of lovely sentiments about how excited I was to acquire new knowledge.
Until that point, academics had come easily to me. So what I really meant was that I loved learning when it was something I could do quickly and well.
I couldn’t do either when it came to the hard sciences. I had no foundation in them, and at the time my brain wasn’t oriented to that kind of thinking. (It is now, which I consider to be proof of brain plasticity—if I can figure out biochemistry, anything is possible!)
It’s fun to compare my current attitude about learning things, sometimes with difficulty, in my new role, versus how I handled being a post-bacc and grad student.
There’s so much less agonizing and frustration.
When I don’t understand something, I ask questions or practice until it make sense. If I do something incorrectly, I’m thankful for feedback and clarification. I’m not hung up about the fact that things take me a long time; actually, I expect them to.
It all goes to show how much my ego has softened over the last decade plus. So has my perfectionism.
Like many perfectionists, I used to have a low tolerance for struggle. I didn’t know how to handle it when I was unable to master something.
I’ve stopped being so interested in mastery, or excellence, and become interested in doing the best that I can.
This is how I’ve approached my first month working in renal care. I show up each morning committed to doing right by my patients and to being a good colleague. The work is about them, not about me.
I know my limitations and areas of inexperience. I spend a lot of time asking my coworkers questions, and I’m grateful to be trained by people who know more than me.
Sometimes I call myself a recovering or former perfectionist because that’s how I’d like things to be—perfectionism, past tense.
Right now, I’m seeing real, experiential proof of how much I’ve let the competitiveness and unreasonable expectations go. It’s a good place to be.
I’m wishing you a week of satisfaction in doing your best. Happy Sunday, friends. Here are some recipes and reads.
Recipes
1. I’m ready to say “I do” to a batch of Jessica’s marry me chickpeas.
2. It’s been a while since I spiralized a vegetable, but these creamy sweet potato noodles are calling to me.
3. Vegan “chicken” parm (this one is made with tofu) over a bed of pasta is the quintessential comfort food meal.
4. I love lentils, I love couscous, and I’m sure I’ll love them both in a soup.
5. Easter is a ways away, but I’ll happily make these cookie dough Easter eggs now.
Reads
1. The days of wearing crutches for months may soon become a thing of the past—depending on circumstances, of course. There’s more and more evidence in favor of early weight-bearing for leg and ankle fractures.
2. On better care-giving through listening.
3. Many young men struggle with body dysmorphia, and eating disorders are on the rise in this age group. Muscle dysmorphia, or an obsession with building bigger muscles, can be one expression of this, and the health risks are very real.
4. Yup, get the giggles out of the way. This article is actually a really useful rundown of what’s in your urine—and a concise overview of the link between kidney and heart health.
5. I’m not a gardener, but I love the idea of being “imperfectly joyful,” and joyfully imperfect. And Kat Kinsman’s thoughts on “deciding to suck at” gardening fit nicely with theme of abandoning perfectionism.
I feel as though the weekend barely happened, but I did get to make the West African-inspired chickpea peanut stew with sweet potatoes from Power Plates, along with some millet to serve it over and that book’s yummy hemp chimichurri sauce.
Those two things, along some easy staples (veggie tacos with store-bought seitan, a pasta dish with defrosted white beans) will get me through the week.
Hope there’s a good meal or two ahead of you, also!
xo
You might also like
In class this past week, one of my yoga teachers shared an excerpt from Nischala Joy Devi’s The Secret Power of Yoga, which is a woman-centric reading and elucidation of the yoga sutras (I picked up the book a couple days later, and I’m enjoying it so far—much less dense and relatable than the more scholarly commentaries on the text). The section he pointed to is entitled “sweets make us sweet.” Devi describes being in India and sharing food with Yoga Master Sri…
First, a heartfelt thank you for the kind, supportive words about Power Plates this week. I’m so grateful for them, and to those of you who have been cooking and sharing on Instagram, I can’t tell you how much joy it gives me to see the recipes take life in other peoples’ kitchens. It’s been interesting to observe the feelings that have come up since the book came out. I felt a little jittery before the release, which is probably normal, but the…
Happy Sunday, everyone. I’m settling back into the swing of things after a little departure this week: a couple days upstate, at my best friend’s family home. Those of you who have been reading the blog for a while know that my oldest and closest friend, Chloe, lives in New Orleans, but we grew up together here in New York. Her family home, two hours north of the city, has always held special meaning for me. It was a place I went to often…
Happy St. Patrick’s Day! I probably should have thought to post something festive before today, but instead it’s coming to you in a day or two. It’s a very tasty cabbage and pasta recipe, which I hope you’ll like. I wrapped up another community rotation of my internship this past week. This rotation included a lot of group education and a little bit of counseling. In both contexts, I was touched, as I always am, to be reminded of how deeply people care…
Leave a Comment
It’s so nice to hear your voice again Gena, haven’t been over here in a while.
Reading your post put a smile on my face, to hear how you are leaning into a different way of seeing challenges in your new role was lovely.
I have learnt a lot through my own experiences, and it is so freeing to see how we grow and help our future selves.
Thankyou for always sharing and enlightening xoxo
Faye