Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Prick the eggplant with a fork, then lay it on a foil lined baking sheet. Bake until it's collapsing (about 30-45 minutes, depending on your eggplant). Let it sit for 30 minutes, or until it's cool enough to handle.
While eggplant is cooking, bring water and lentils to a boil. Turn heat to a simmer and let lentils cook with a lid ajar. When the lentils are tender, they’re finished. It should take 30 minutes or so.
Drain the lentils and add them to a food processor fitted with the S blade. Cut the eggplant in half. Scoop out the flesh and add it to the food processor as well. Add all remaining ingredients to the food processor. Process till the mixture is smooth but retains some texture. Serve with crackers, veggies, or even as a thick dressing!