A while back I read a quotation from Diego Perez, who goes by the pen name of Yung Pueblo. It said,
I happen to be down today. It’s not sadness or melancholy so much as overwhelm and fatigue, which has been an on-and-off-again theme this year.
I’ve been sitting here for the past hour feeling awfully frustrated with myself for a whole catalog of reasons.
In particular, I feel really badly about how inconsistent my writing has been lately, how sporadic my recipes and posts, how difficult it has been to show up fully in this space that I love.
I even feel badly about the overwhelm. Didn’t I say that I was going to do something about the overwhelm months ago? Shouldn’t I have found a solution by now?
As far as this Sunday post goes, my plan was to not write anything or try to write as if nothing was wrong. As if I weren’t in the middle of a solitary, glum, angry bout of self-criticism.
Then I remembered that quote.
If susceptibility to both melancholy and self-loathing have taught me anything, it’s that Yung Pueblo is right. The capacity to understand that a low moment will warp one’s lens is a form of maturity.
Being down, overwhelmed, or exhausted—mentally or physically–alters perception. Especially self-perception.
So instead of spending another hour marinating in this feeling, I’m going to do my best to engage with things that I know to be healthy, for me: Sunday night dinner with my mom, some reading, some fresh air, a little proactive planning for the week ahead.
I’m not going to try to argue with the self-critical inner voices. I’ll just choose not to engage with them for now, trusting that this low moment will pass quickly.
So, too, will the harsh light in which I’m seeing myself today.
I’m grateful to past me for taking notice of words that future me would one day need to hear. That day is today.
Here’s to a new week and to the grace of beginning again.
Happy Sunday, and we’ll chat soon.
xo
It seems to be a pattern lately that I’m not getting weekend reading up until Monday, which to some extent defeats the purpose. But is there ever a bad time for delicious recipes, mouth-watering photos, and thought-provoking reads? Nope. I hope you’ll all enjoy this week’s picks. Rather than ending with dessert, which is what I usually do, I think I’ll start with it. My friend Jackie shared a recipe from the lovely Emily’s new book, Rawsome Vegan Baking, and it looks cray…
Yesterday was a tough day. And I was just at the point of thinking that it would be a tough weekend when I agreed to meet up with my mom for a spontaneous errand. It was a beautiful spring afternoon in New York City. The streets were full, people were dining outside, the sun was shining, the air was clear. I started to feel refreshed as I wandered south from my apartment. Shortly after our errand, my mom and I happened upon some…
At the end of this school year, my mom will be retiring from her career as a studio art and art history teacher. This past Friday, she was honored as part of her school’s end-of-year gala. I was happy to attend the celebration with her, and it was so nice to see her receive the gratitude and admiration of a whole community. It seems like the right time for her to close this chapter of her life and make more space for her…
I’m not sure whether I’ve ever mentioned this, but I can be amazingly visually unobservant. When I’m walking around here in NYC, I’m conscious of things like cars and the foot traffic of other pedestrians, but I don’t frequently notice things like architecture or foliage. I’ve become aware of this trait only by noting how different my orientation is from that of other people. My mom, for example, sees everything, from the shapes cast by shadows on the sidewalk to each and every…
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I really needed that Yung Pueblo quote after a very difficult week. Thank you.
It seems like your posts always mirror something I’m feeling or struggling with in my life. Maybe we are in similar phases of life. Either way your sharing makes me feel like I’m in good company. Thank you.
Best of luck, Gena. Hang in there.
Well said. I’m continuously impressed with how well you know yourself. And how often I learn from you. Thanks so very much for sharing openly.