I took a led yoga class yesterday, and the sweetest thing happened. We were all doing Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana B, a balancing posture. While standing, one grabs hold of a big toe (or a bent knee) while extending that leg out to the side. Traditionally, one gazes in the opposite direction as the extended leg. Because my gaze was away from my leg, I couldn’t tell how close my foot was to my yoga neighbor. My balance faltered a little as I worried…

A little tidbit from yesterday: I got on the phone with a friend at some point during the day. At the end of our call, she asked if I wanted to join her as she walked her dog (she lives close by). I told her no; I had just taken a walk, and I had more work to do. After we hung up, I stared at my apartment and my kitchen counter covered in ingredients. I wanted to work, but I felt resistance…

I turned in my cookbook manuscript on Wednesday. Sort of. I turned in the most unpolished and incomplete work that I’ve ever submitted to an editor. The scaffolding of something finished was definitely there, but it was littered with “TK,” which is publishing shorthand for “to come.” Otherwise known as, “I’ll need to add this at a later time because I just haven’t managed to write it in the mad-dash scramble of the last week.” I’d had a vision of how I’d feel…

On Tuesday, after more than eight hours of cooking on a piping hot day, with my windows closed and AC unit running, my carbon monoxide alarm started wailing. I spent the following two hours with the New York Fire Department and Con Edison. It was determined that I needed a new oven. I’m still waiting on said oven to be cleared for use. Great timing with my cookbook manuscript deadline—Wednesday of this week—and my frantic attempt to test the last few recipes. As…

One of the questions I asked and was asked most often as quarantine lightened was what I planned to do as the world reopened. After the strictest stages of lockdown, it was tempting to scheme up big, bold plans for travel and adventure. As we all know, reopening has been piecemeal and non-linear. So the fantasy of quarantine precautions being lifted in one fell swoop is now gone. With it goes the hope that our lives would be divided into a very neat,…

Last weekend, I pledged to spend this week prioritizing mental health. It sounds straightforward, but it really isn’t. I’ve written about mental health struggles for a while now, but even so, I find myself hesitating to take poor mental health weeks as seriously as I’d take a physical illness. This in spite of the fact that a tough pocket of depression leaves me every bit as depleted and in need of rest as a bad cold or stomach bug. I did actually manage…

It’s been a long week of asking for help in all sorts of ways. I’ve asked for deadline extensions, for favors, for space, for listening, for patience, and for good thoughts. I’ve asked for friendship and support. I’ve had to do all of this asking because I’m not feeling like myself. It’s rough. But I can comfort myself with the fact that I’m getting better at vocalizing what I need in order to get through moments like this. Just as I was trying…