Last weekend, I mentioned that I have a tendency to try to fix or manage difficulties as soon as they arise. This can be a good thing, at least when it comes to concrete problems that demand ready solutions. It can also be a handicap, especially when the issue at hand defies easy troubleshooting. In trying to “fix” something that’s inherently complex, I sometimes create difficulty, rather than alleviating it. When this happens it’s often because I appeased my aversion to discomfort–I wanted the problem to go away quickly, so…

Shortly after the new year began, Elizabeth Gilbert tweeted something that stuck with me: “There are only 2 two ways to have a peaceful conscience: Never do anything wrong or learn self-forgiveness (Pro tip: first way’s impossible)” I love the this quote because it exposes perfectionism for what it really is: an exercise in futility. Of course none of us never does anything wrong. To avoid mistakes is impossible, and yet so many of us would rather try than take the path of self-forgiveness….

Once upon a time–and by that I mean as recently as 8 months ago–I spent a lot of time reading articles and lists and impassioned bits of advice about productivity. I listened to podcasts about time management, efficiency, and entrepreneurship. In spite of the fact that I wasn’t crushing my goals or organizing my time in some spectacularly economical fashion, I remained fiercely attached to the idea of operating that way. In many ways the fixation on productivity was an expression of longing for my…

Happy Sunday, all. We made it through our first week of 2017! One of the links I’m sharing this Sunday is Stella Blackmon‘s reflection on making friends as an adult. It’s refreshing, an honest look at how hard it can be to explore new situations, to put oneself out there, to accept that intimacy takes time. A few weeks ago, I had dinner with a friend. It had been too long–at least six months, if not more. As he and I got to…

Happy new year, everyone. I hope that 2017 will bring peace and happiness to all of you, and to the world. I’ve been laying low on social media for the last two days, intentionally. The collective resolution and goal setting isn’t for me. In past years I tended to poo-poo and complain about it, but there’s no need for that. I can simply be selective about what I read, listen to, and ponder as the new year gets underway. While I tend to…