Weekend Reading
October 29, 2023

A quick little story:

At one point this week, I got stuck on a subway car that was going nowhere fast.

We’d been cruising along as usual, when suddenly the train slowed. And slowed. And came to a very full stop.

I’m used to these moments on the New York City subway system. Short stops are common, but really long delays tend to be relatively unusual.

This was a lengthy standstill. Even worse, we were stuck in a spot where my phone had no service, and I was on my way to something work related. I couldn’t call or shoot off an email to say that I was delayed.

I tapped my foot furiously and checked my phone frantically to see if lo and behold, there would be a couple bars.

No luck.

I sighed and fidgeted and kept my ears peeled for an announcement from the conductor.

Not surprisingly, my impatience did not actually get the train moving.

At a certain point, I realized that there was nothing—nothing—that I could do about the situation. I took a deep breath and thought, “let go.”

I started listening to some music. I relaxed in my seat. I told myself that the train would get moving sooner or later—they always do—and that I just had to find a way to make the best of it in the meantime.

By the time the train started moving again, I was actually relatively calm. I was enjoying listening to a piece of music I hadn’t heard in a while. And I’d taken a few minutes to draft an email that I knew I’d need to send later that day.

Yes, it was annoying to be late for a meeting, but the world did not fall apart as a result. Everyone in New York understands that train delays happen and are nobody’s fault.

I’m sure you can see where I’m going with this: sometimes, we just have to surrender to whatever’s going on.

As the week went by, I allowed my subway ride to be a memorable lesson.

It was a week full of work challenges, mixed with some personal frustrations. I couldn’t help getting worked up periodically, but each time I did, I forced myself to stop, breathe, and unclench.

Inevitably, the willingness to let go resulted in my being more able to handle things. Solutions never present themselves to me when I’m anxious or frantic; they only visit when I’m clearheaded and grounded.

With that in mind, I’m entering this new week with a commitment to stay in that space of judicious surrender. I’ll remember that efforting, while important sometimes, has true limits. And letting go has its own special power.

I’m wishing you the right balance of effort and acceptance in the seven days ahead of us, friends. Happy Sunday eve.

xo

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    1 Comment
  1. Totally a good reminder to control what you *can* control, and let go of what you can’t! One of my favorite mantras, but an easy one to forget in tense moments.

You might also like

This semi-quarantined, semi-open summer has so far been full of fluctuations in perspective. In the course of a single week, it’s easy to go from hopeful and excited to fearful and shut down. I’ve had weeks of peacefulness and interspersed with real anxiety. At times I’ve felt more able than ever to look on the bright side, and sometimes it feels impossible to think positively. There’s nothing unusual about fluctuation, of course, but I think that the Covid crisis has shown me an…

Things I love: winter. Waking up to thick flurries of snow. Chatting with my bestie. Texting with JL. Making soup. Midday multitasking between horror movies and work. Licorice tea. In basically every way, it has been a picture perfect Sunday. Here’s my selection of food and words for you this week. These chocolate chestnut mousse tarts with shortbread crust look absolutely insane. They’re so beautiful, I’d be almost sorry to eat one, but Ricki, if you feel like bringing a batch over, I’ll…

Here we are, in the final days of 2014. It has been quite a year, and I look forward to sharing some reflections with you all later this week. For now, some weekend reading, brought to you while Steven and I dance into the wee hours at my friend Gabi’s wedding. Enjoy!  Christmas is over, but this green and red zucchini pasta dish is still calling my name! This cauliflower and avocado salad with pomegranate seeds is so gorgeously simple, yet colorful, and…

As New York City reopens, I’m thinking a lot about the things that have sustained me most through the quarantine. I figure it can’t hurt to ask myself what buoyed me through all of this, and to consider the meaning of my answer. One of the things that I’ve been most grateful for is community. I’m accustomed to spending time on my own, but the Covid experience tested the limits of my comfort with solitude. At times, I felt acutely aware of being…